by Cricket Desmarais
“With rebellion, awareness is born” – ALBERT CAMUS
If you’ve been following along my 11 part series on MINDING THE MONEY GAP: BRIDGING BUSINESS WITH CREATIVITY, you may or may not have noticed that my momentum has waned.
& that I skipped the sixth installment & jumped straight into the seventh.
So much for form, huh?
While I could ramble on about little ones with double ear infections & a head cold myself, & a freelance project with a deadline, the truth is, I needed a breather. I wanted to relish in a trip to Block Island to hear poet Li-Young Lee read & a fantastic visit with a longtime dearheart friend.
I NEEDED to stop & let the juice of who I really am replenish.
I am definitely enamored by the how & why things work, but I am much more of a creative spirit than I am of a scientist. If you check in with yourself, you’ll probably find that you sway more to one side than the other, too.
There is something innate that makes me want to rebel against form & authority & find my own way, even in the midst of standing in as authority & finding my own way! I began to feel like this systematized 11 step process was just a bunch of malarkey. Forced, phony, & a bit too much like the rest of the headlines I seem to be continuously seeing out there in the digital realm where advice has become a full-fledged industry (& not without its charlatans).
I’d wake in the middle of the night wondering just what it is that I thought I was doing. What was my point? Why was I bothering? Isn’t there enough out there already? & who the hell am I to act as if I know anything?
For a moment I wanted to can the whole deal & hide. Go back to my impulsive creative musings & let them take me where they would. (Even as I write this, it still doesn’t seem like a horrible idea!)
But then I remembered that it was also in the middle of the night where I was woken by a force that guided me to write all of these steps down, instructing me to deliver it to others like me who struggle with form & professional creative sustainability.
After some serious reflection & consideration, what I have come to realize is this: I have completely stepped out of my comfort zone. Focus & the long haul are hard for me, as are systems & putting myself out there as “just me” (vs as a dancer or actor where there is a specific role at hand, or a larger part of a collaborative).
My comfort level is in coaching people one on one. In telling others what I know to be true from my previous experiences & eduction & inviting them to explore their own form within some of these foundations. THIS is where I’ve seen empowerment, self-direction & momentum kick in.
My comfort level is also in letting my flow take me on a free-form ride, which unfortunately, often leads to nowhere in particular. Fun, sure. Fruitful? Hardly in the way I desire it to be.
This blogging as a business venture is a very new realm for me. I often question its value & whether the investment of my time is worth it. But when I stop the chatter in my head & listen to my heart, I trust that these are the ripples that will help make waves.
Trusting the process is essential.
What about YOU? Where are you in your process & what is YOUR comfort zone?
Only you know if something is working for you or not, but THIS i know:
It can be tricky to not listen to the inner bullshitter who lets you off the hook or tells you to dump a project all together.
Hang in there! If you start to feel squeezed in the form you’ve created, be still for a spell & allow yourself to stretch. Then see if you can set the momentum back into motion in the form & sustain it.
If it’s still not working, adapt accordingly. If you give yourself even a little bit of credit, you’ll eventually know what you need to do.
It sounds rather simple, I know, but when you get clear on what it is you want & how you’ve chosen to create the momentum & action plans to get there, it really IS that simple.
& so it is that I will offer you step number 8 next week in the 11 steps of minding the money gap. (Consider this one number 6!).
My adaptation will be in slowing down the frequency of posts so that I can have the time to honor my own creative callings (a novel ten years in the making, some poetry that wants to be born, some image making & taking & some good ol’ fashioned spontaneous play with my little ones).
I’ll also offer some brief shout outs on the Flow Mojo Facebook page to help create momentum & inspiration throughout the week. It would be great to hear from you there & to get your input & inspirations regarding your own processes & comfort zones, & if any of these steps in minding the money gap are working for you or not.
& it would be REALLY special to see any of your own creative musings on this topic if you’re willing to share.
Thanks for tuning into Flow Mojo. Here’s to the creative juice within you & to the abundance of all that you desire!